I can’t tell you how many
times well meaning people tried to get the stroller from me in a restaurant or
in church to try and put it aside - and when I stop them and hold onto it
tightly while saying “Uh wait”, they would look and be surprised to find a baby
inside! :D They all think the stroller is for Audrey who is either walking or
being carried by her dad. I guess they just didn’t expect another baby to be in
there.
Having a
toddler and a very young baby is quite challenging for hands on parents like my
husband and I. The energy that we expend is so much so that we feel like we’ve
run a hundred kilometers or more in a day. And during the weekdays, when it’s
just me taking care of both girls the whole day, I always get amazed at how
tired I am by night time. And they’re girls. If they were boys, I think I would
be dead tired before dinner time.
My husband’s
cousin once told him, ‘You’re not a parent until you have two kids’ – and of
course this was just a saying of sorts but so true! (imagine if you had more
than two!) You now have not just one but two little ones to raise and attend
to, and so much time and effort is needed if you truly want to be there for
them. Whenever you fill the need of one and think you’re done, you’re not. The
other one will need something from you as well and the list just goes on and
on. Finding time for yourself just becomes so much more difficult.
I am so
thankful though to be blessed with such wonderful and well behaved (most of the
time) daughters. Well, I say ‘most of the time’ because my toddler is not
exempt from ‘I’m escaping my nap time’ crankiness and my little one would get
bouts of fussiness once in a while. They’re normal human beings too.
But what’s not easy with having a
toddler and a baby at the same time is that they are both in very demanding
stages in their lives. Audrey requires a lot of attention and Natalie is
still so dependent. And both of these needs have to be met or there will be
chaos.
Whenever both
girls cry at the same time, which thank God rarely happens to me – I just can’t
help but find the humor in it. Getting stressed out won’t help and laughing
would certainly make things seem lighter and bearable. So I just attend to
their needs as soon as I can, knowing that they will be ok once it’s done. I
just say to myself, don’t
panic hehe.
When Audrey sees Natalie being carried,
there are times when she asks to be carried herself (the newly independent
toddler has changed her mind and wants to be treated like a baby again). So if
Dad isn’t around to carry her, I simply let them take turns. Natalie first,
then Audrey (and sometimes I do a countdown to let her know that it will be
Natalie’s turn soon). As long as she gets carried even for a bit, she will be
happy and satisfied already. Perhaps in her mind, she already got the same
amount of attention since her request was honored – so it’s wise for us parents
to be considerate of our toddler. This is especially true for Audrey who
is still basically adjusting to sharing the attention with Natalie, our new
addition. We just always remind Audrey that we love her and her sister equally,
and Natalie just needs a little more carrying time because she’s still a baby and
can’t do things on her own yet.
There are still
days when I can’t believe that the day has gone by and all I did was change
diapers, carry, feed, give baths and play with them. A typical day at home
would consist of this:
- Feed
Natalie
- Give
Natalie a bath
- Feed
Audrey breakfast (and myself too) while Natalie sleeps again
- Feed
Natalie
- Give
Audrey a bath
- Change
Natalie’s poop diaper
-
Change Audrey’s poop diaper (the once successful potty training has been put on
hold indefinitely
because Audrey wants to be like Natalie – having her diapers
changed again)
- Change
Natalie’s poop diaper again (I don’t know why they usually like to poop at
the same time haha!
Though this doesn’t happen every single day)
- Feed
Natalie
- Play
with Audrey/Arts and Crafts time
- Feed
Audrey lunch (and moi!) while Natalie sleeps
- Brush
Audrey’s teeth
- Feed
Natalie
- Play/Sing/Read
to Audrey and Natalie
- Try
to put Audrey to sleep (start winding down)
- If
Audrey still won’t sleep, give her snacks or milk
- Feed
Natalie
- Change
Natalie’s diaper
-
Get the room prepared for nap time (close lights, window shades,
make it quiet)
-
If Audrey still won’t sleep again, I have to pretend sleeping as
well (this is hard for
me but a piece of
cake for Daddy! No need to pretend hehe :D)
- Audrey
taking a nap (yes, a break for me!)
- Natalie
soon follows (double yes! Now I can work)
- Change
Audrey’s diaper when she wakes up
- Feed
Audrey a snack if she’s hungry
- Feed
Natalie
-
Play with Audrey (or Arts and Crafts time if we didn’t get to do it
in the morning)
- Feed
Audrey dinner (usually Daddy does this even though Audrey can already eat on
her own -
supervision is still needed especially when Audrey wants seconds hehe,
and when
not as hungry she may start playing with her food)
- Give
Natalie a sponge bath
- Daddy
or Mommy will give Audrey an evening bath
- Brush
Audrey’s teeth
- Feed
Natalie
-
Read books and pray
- Put
them to sleep!!!
And where am I in the midst of all this? I try to squeeze in preparing Audrey’s
food, answering work emails and squeezing in some more work if possible,
cooking or supervising the day’s lunch and dinner, preparing snacks… so all the
other important stuff needs to be done before the girls wake up - like praying,
reading, taking a bath, working and blogging (and sometimes late at night if I
still have energy). So this is why I get tired?! :D I just wish the girls took
more naps together at the same time during the day hehehe. Been working on
their daytime routine and it’s been successful some of the time, but not
always. And sometimes I do have to enlist the help of Hi-5, Dora and Doc
McStuffins! I try to limit tv watching time as much as possible but there are
times that I need to allow it for my own sanity ;P And of course, my husband
and I need to make time for each other as well. So we try to set our 'Us Time'
and be deliberate about it or it won't happen.
On some days, there’s also some disciplining
happening when my opinionated toddler shows some hardheadedness. It’s not easy,
but it needs to be done - and done right away. I know that I would be doing her
a disservice by not correcting her and teaching her the right way even at this
very early stage in her life. The book of Proverbs says that “Folly is bound up
in the heart of a child” (Prov 22:15) and no matter how nice or sweet they are,
this holds true. So as parents, we need to lovingly but firmly and consistently
teach them the right ways – God’s ways (and both mom and dad need to be in
agreement as to how their approach in discipline would be). So yeah, besides
physical tiredness, emotional and mental tiredness can happen too.
But despite all this
‘busy-ness’, tiredness and parenting going on, I can’t tell you how truly
grateful I am. Especially when my daughters show me their appreciation by
saying “Thank you mum” (this is Audrey of course J), hugging me and simply
smiling at me (Natalie!). Sometimes we just find ourselves laughing together
and being silly – including Natalie since she’s more interactive now - and I
can’t tell you how fun that is!
 |
My toddler and baby having so much fun together :) |
I am also so blessed whenever
I see Audrey being a loving big sister to Natalie. It was our prayer that when
Natalie came, Audrey would welcome her presence in the family and love her –
and this prayer was answered. She loves ‘checking up on Natalie’ (like mom does
whenever we’re in the dining area for a meal and Natalie is asleep or sometimes
awake but just in the room) – and she would slowly sneak into the room, take a
peek at her and go back out to announce that "Natalie is ok" J She also gives Natalie
her toys whenever she starts fussing because of boredom. And her favorite is
playing peek-a-boo with Natalie and making her laugh! This is precious! I love
watching them play with each other especially since Natalie laughs so much now
– it’s so infectious! We just have to remind Audrey to be extra gentle with the
baby though. Sometimes she can get too excited and forget that Natalie is
smaller and a bit more fragile. She likes to smother her with kisses and touch
her face. But overall, I am just so delighted by the way they both interact
with each other.
A toddler can just
take you by surprise with how grown up she can suddenly be when a baby is
around. And Natalie? I get surprised too by how much she enjoys playing with
her big sis. She just gets so entertained that it’s so amusing to watch J
There
is just no measure of how fulfilling it is to be the mom of these two girls. So
I make the most out of every moment with them. And even if it seems as though
I’m missing out on everything else, I’m really not. Because I’m doing what I’m
supposed to be doing and I am where I’m supposed to be. I obviously
love and enjoy being their mom! J
What a beautiful entry... I am a follower of your blog, Cecil. Learned about you through Patty's blog... I admire how faithful and centered you are... May God bless you and your family more abundantly!
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
ReplyDeleteHi Cecil! Your babies are adorable! I am on my 8th month, 1st pregnancy and like you, I've been praying hard to give birth through natural vaginal delivery and I have been getting lots of tips from your posts. BTW, may I know where you got those cute little chairs your kids are sitting on? I would like to get one for my baby :)
ReplyDeleteHi! Those are Bumbo seats :) ours were just borrowed but I saw them being sold in Baby Company so you can get it from there. Glad my posts were able to help you and hope you will have a normal birth for your first baby :)
ReplyDeleteHello! This is such a wonderful blog. Thanks for sharing your family's life with strangers like us, teaching us a thing or two along. I just wonder, though- did you really intend to have a second baby while your firstborn is still a toddler? I would want to have the same thing but like what you said, it's not gonna be the easiest of things.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
Hi mai! glad my post was helpful :) Well, we really didn't intend to get pregnant with our 2nd baby while our first was only a year and half hehe. We were actually planning to try for our 2nd after Audrey turned 2, but we were happy nonetheless. Babies are always a blessing! And now even though it is quite hard to take care of two kids just 2 years apart, it is also very rewarding. It's so wonderful to see them play and laugh together, esp now that Natalie is getting bigger and moving around more :) I'm looking forward to more fun times! (and trying to overlook the difficult ones) ;)
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