Sunday, October 5, 2014

To Try or To Wait

      Because I had my first child a couple of years (4 to be exact) after getting married, I would from time to time be asked if we had actually planned it that way or if we had trouble conceiving. It's probably because: 

    a) Most people here expect you to start a family right after getting married, so if you 
        don't, they assume something must be wrong
    b) It is common for couples nowadays to be faced with difficulty conceiving like never 

     For us, the answer was: We really decided to wait. And I'm glad that despite waiting on purpose for quite some time, we were blessed with Audrey a few months after trying (and with Natalie without really planning hehe).
      My husband and I basically wanted to enjoy the honeymoon stage and travel to many different places before the kids came. We agreed that we will start trying when we are both ready. It's a good thing our timelines are in sync.
     And if you're a newlywed couple, you are probably asking yourselves if you should already try getting pregnant or if you should wait. 
     Making a decision to try or to wait is a crucial one. For me, the number one factor in deciding whether to have children or wait a while is this: Your Reproductive Health
     A few years ago I would have said: Whenever You Are Both Ready. Because that was our deciding factor and it worked fine. 
     But you might be wondering about the change of heart. Well, because of so many factors affecting conception nowadays, it is important for us to make sure that we are completely healthy before we decide on holding off on starting a family. I have friends who have missed this opportunity because of health issues that appeared unexpectedly. And some that are still trying after many years.
     While it is great to enjoy the honeymoon stage or traveling around the world, the joy of having children is a wonderful and extra special experience as well, and quite like no other - as we have witnessed ourselves. Of course there are other important factors to consider like finances, but this is not quite as crucial as health. You can always find ways to save and budget your money if you choose to start a family, (and this should ideally be part of what you prepare for before getting married) but good health is essential for a couple to bear children and cannot be taken for granted. There may be other unavoidable factors keeping you from having children at the moment, but this reminder is mainly for those who can start a family with nothing holding them back except uncertainty.

     If you are a woman, just remember that time and age can be your friend or foe. We all know that we have a biological clock and we won't know how easy or hard it is to conceive unless we try. So besides having optimum reproductive health, we also have to consider our age.
     So if you aren't sure of how you'll do, my advice is - just don't wait too long. You can put most things on hold for a while, but having children is only good until a certain age - how I wish that there was no deadline for us, women but it was just how we were designed. Unfortunately, if we miss that moment in time there's no more turning back. 
     So if you are married and have this opportunity, please take hold of it. Children are a blessing, not a burden!


  1. Truelaloo...will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniv (total of 17 yrs anniv including bf/gf) and been praying that will get pregnant next year but praying first for a healthy body. It has been difficult to lose weight since I got diagnosed with thyroid prob.

    1. Aww, I hope next year is the year! ;) will pray for that too :)

  2. Funny how I also just realized that after our eldest turned 2. My husband and I were firm on having the next one at least 4yrs later since living in such an expensive city as New York without extended is already a challenge on its own. But after some thought and turning 32, do I really want to wait til I'm almost 35 to start trying again knowing that it may or may not happen as hoped? Well were just thrilled to share that we actually took that leap of faith and are expecting a little girl, my little son's future best friend - wishful thinking! in January. It's one of the best decisions we've made, especially on my part being the mom because it's my body and I will SOLELY go through the all changes and challenges amidst the millions of opinions of everyone.

    1. That's great! I am sure you will do just fine :) We aren't given what we cannot handle ;)